Strap-ons and harnesses: a beginner's guide
A strap-on is a harness that holds a dildo in place, so it can be worn hands-free. You can buy a ready-made set, or choose a harness and a dildo separately. Here's how to decide.
Ready-made or build your own?
- Ready-made sets are the easiest start. The dildo and harness are made to fit each other. Examples: Sportsheets Saffron Strap On ($49.99), ROMP Piccolo Pegging Kit ($74.95), SELOPA Our First Hollow Strap-On ($29.95).
- Build your own if you want a specific dildo size or feel. Pick a harness, then any dildo with a flared base that fits its O-ring. See our harness-compatible dildos.
Harness styles
| Style | Example | Good for |
|---|---|---|
| Underwear-style and adjustable straps | Strap-On-Me Leatherette Harness Curious ($89.95) | Most people; a secure, everyday fit |
| Thigh harness | Sportsheets Thigh Strap on Harness ($34.95) | Wearing on the thigh for a different angle, and for people who find hip harnesses uncomfortable |
| Vibrating strap-on | Strap-on-Me Vibrating Strap On Medium Purple ($194.95) | Vibration for the wearer as well |
| Strapless | Honey Play Box Harmony Duo App Controlled Tapping Strapless Strap On Blue ($99.95) | No harness; held in place by the wearer |
Choosing a dildo size
- Start smaller than you think. A slimmer dildo is much easier for a first time.
- Sizes in a single line make this easy. The Strap-on-Me Sliding Skin dildo comes in Small to XXL, for example Strap-on-Me Sliding Skin Realistic Dildo Fuchsia - Small ($89.95), Strap-on-Me Sliding Skin Realistic Dildo Fuchsia - Medium ($104.95) and Strap-on-Me Sliding Skin Realistic Dildo White - Large ($119.95).
- Silicone is the most popular choice: body-safe, firm and easy to clean. More in toy materials.
Pegging
Pegging means using a strap-on with a partner who has a prostate. A beginner kit like ROMP Piccolo Pegging Kit ($74.95) pairs a small, smooth dildo with a simple harness. Go slowly, use plenty of lube, and read our prostate guide first.
Lube and cleaning
- Use plenty of water-based lube. It's safe with every dildo material.
- Wash the dildo after each use with warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner. Most harnesses are hand-wash only; check the label.
See how to clean and store your sex toys.
Quick answers
Do all dildos fit all harnesses? Most dildos with a flared base fit most O-ring harnesses. Very wide bases may need a larger ring.
What's a hollow strap-on? A hollow dildo that can be worn over a penis. SELOPA Our First Hollow Strap-On ($29.95) is an example.
Is it discreet when it arrives? Yes. Every order ships in plain packaging. See discreet shopping.
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